French Box Review February 2015

French Box was a box I was pretty stoked to try out. So stoked I went ahead and got a year long subscription. I figured it would go along with my love of French Hens and my Poultry Pal Camilla.

Let me take you on a smelly foul river cruise along the Seine where along every corner mimes are helplessly trapped in invisible boxes and can’t hear you scream…


Camilla the French Hen Looks Excited!
Camilla the French Hen Looks Excited!


So far so good. Even Camilla is happy with the quality of the wrapping!



Nice wrapping!
Nice wrapping!


When we opened the box there was an old dank smell. I’m not even kidding. Perhaps this traveled all the way from Paris on a train? No?




A recipe was included but there is not one item in the box that had anything to do with it. It was also the image for one of their “hints” making you dream some treat was in store. Honestly if I was the type of chick to make this, I wouldn’t be the type of chick to need the recipe from a subscription box.

Value -$10 (for playing with my emotions and making think I was going to get some num nums but instead giving me a damn homework assignment)

Bath Beads
Bath Beads


The card says these are “Perles De Bain” or in English “Mystery Bath Product That I Wouldn’t Trust To Wash A Messy Racoon.”

They retail price this at $8. Real Value: $1 (this may make a good hate gift for my sister-in-law)

Alexis Cosmetic Serum
Alexis Cosmetic Serum


Alexis Cosmetic Serum Excel Booster C+. No info can be found on this product. No ingredients. Only thing we know for sure? It’s made in China. MADE IN CHINA

The card values this at $25. Real Value: $0 (I’m not putting this crap on my already unhappy frowning face)





Back of lipstick
Back of lipstick


Color Of Lipstick
Color Of Lipstick



I want to meet the person over at French Box who had a big enough baguette to send this tattered old lipstick to me. I honestly want to gauge the rind on their Brie because it must be HUGE. I am actually insulted I received this. I’m actually angry. The last review of this product is in 2013 and it details the very short shelf life this poor war battered lipstick has.


They value this at $8.95. Real Value: -$3 (As I slowly shake my head and curse under my breath)




At this point I no longer wonder about the moldy smell. It’s about here that I lose all hope and start to accept my fate. I yearn for a glass of red wine to calm my nerves and soften my disappointment. These nail stickers aren’t the worse thing in the world and sort of have that French nautical style.

They value this at $4.95. Real Value: $4.95 ( I will agree depending on what print you get as they vary)


Nail File
Nail File


Just because you write “Paris” on something doesn’t make it French. This “Lime A Ongle” is what it is.

They value this at $3. Real Value: $1 (Discount bin splurge)


French Box literally wrapped up a dump that the Dollar Store took, charged me $24, and sent it to me in a nice box. Not even a tub of French wine will take the bad taste out of my mouth.





  24 comments for “French Box Review February 2015

  1. Kc
    February 20, 2015 at 6:09 am

    This is hysterical. I couldn’t agree w you more. Got my box today, busied the kids up w a craft, went to a corner to enjoy my treat: ugh! Dog-eared brown beat up packaging with a. Sticky square where theremuctnhave at onetime been a price sticker!!!

    • Subscriptionista
      February 20, 2015 at 5:38 pm

      I feel you on the whole treat thing. Sub boxes are like one of the few things we can give ourselves as an adult to feel any childlike excitement. I could totally imagine you (in my imagination your hair was looking perfect) and your disappointment…

  2. Chrissy
    February 20, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    I’m so sorry that the box was awful but this was the funniest f’in review ever. I feel bad for laughing but I really needed it this morning!

    • Subscriptionista
      February 20, 2015 at 5:36 pm

      Thanks Chrissy! I sort of had to laugh this morning because as I was enjoying my oatmeal I could see the pile of crap I was sent on the table. I really hope this box shapes up. That’ll teach me to go annual in a box I know nothing about hahaha

  3. Kris
    February 20, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    Your review was the best thing to come out of this disaster of a box. I literally threw the entire thing away.

    • Subscriptionista
      February 20, 2015 at 6:19 pm

      Thanks so much! I’m so new to this I’m not even done building my site! I just could not believe they sent this out to people not expecting a huge backlash!

  4. Holly
    February 20, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    LMAO at your review. I’m thankful that I dropped FB like a bad habit after the disaster Lido box. You may have lost out on FB but you found a new fan with your honest and hilarious review. πŸ™‚

    • Subscriptionista
      February 20, 2015 at 9:51 pm

      Thanks Holly!!! Hopefully I’ll be able to figure out this website stuff. I love other peoples box reviews but I feel they are always so nice. I can’t wait to see other peoples take on this box. Even the nicest reviewer in the world can’t make this box look good. I wonder if French Box will try to make it right?

      We should take bets…

  5. RachelJ
    February 20, 2015 at 10:00 pm
    • Subscriptionista
      February 20, 2015 at 10:56 pm

      Star ratings look good. I don’t speak French so I’m lost on the rest. I like how people are digging up pics of the product!

  6. Darling Lily
    February 21, 2015 at 2:36 am

    I am howling with laughter over here!

    Had they sent this mess to une femme de Paris, someone’s baguette would be ground under un haut talon tres chic, then tossed into the Seine with its owner still attached.

    Looking forward to future reviews!

    • Subscriptionista
      February 21, 2015 at 3:07 am

      You are so nice and thank you! Ahaha I love your comment! I imagine a lady in Paris wearing all black sitting at a table glaring at the box with steely disguise, spreading jam on her pastry in a slow methodical manner…

  7. Cecilia Andes
    February 21, 2015 at 5:41 am

    The gig is up. Three products were from 2012 and are LONG expired. The serums were discontinued and the company has no idea where FB even got them from. The expired items that we know of…

    “I looked on and discovered my lipstick was made in October 2012 and the nail stickers in June 2012. Both gave a 2 year expiration date (a jar symbol with a 24 on it).”

    My question is, how many products have you all gotten that were expired and didn’t realize it?

    • Subscriptionista
      February 21, 2015 at 6:27 am

      This is actually scary. I’m going to start looking everything up and calling out companies for this. It’s unforgivable to scam us like this while at the same time putting our health in danger!

    • Subscriptionista
      February 21, 2015 at 6:28 am

      Also thank you for this info!!!

  8. nikki
    February 21, 2015 at 6:10 am

    they should pay ALL of you with a brand new box with no charge, that is just crazy for a $25 dollar box. even $10 boxes are great usually… smh how did they even get their hands on such old products and so many of them? ughh i just cant believe this box

    • Subscriptionista
      February 21, 2015 at 6:31 am

      You are so right! Now it’s confirmed that these products are FAR past dates of safe use. This isn’t even about a one off bad box, this is in your face bad ethics!

  9. PA Anna
    February 21, 2015 at 11:56 pm

    I tried to find the comment field for the Bare Bliss post and couldn’t. 3 of the products were in the September Bare Bliss Box and one product was in the October Bare Bliss box. I subscribed to the first 3 months before cancelling and when I read your review I kept thinking is she writing about the September box. I’m curious if you ordered this through Gilt and Gilt customers will receive boxes different than the regular subscribers. It will be even worse if there are repeats for the subscribers that already received the items back in Sept and Oct.

    I found your blog through the post on the French Box webpage. I enjoy reading it and love your sense of humor. Glad I cancelled that one back in Dec. I don’t see how they can recover from this.

    • Subscriptionista
      February 22, 2015 at 12:17 am

      Hi! Yes I did get the gilt box! So do you think Gilt people are out of luck in terms of getting older boxes? I would hate to lead people astray and will make sure to add that I subscribed through Gilt.

      Thanks so much for reading! I’m really new to this blog stuff so I am figuring out website stuff. I’m not sure why the comments are off on the box page lol I’ll have to take a looksie.

      So yeah, I’m totally unsure if Gilt customers get a different box and I will email them about it. I wonder if they will reply….

      • PA Anna
        February 22, 2015 at 3:02 am

        I would not necessary say that the customers are out of luck. The September box is my favorite box from Bare Bliss. Your box has the SW Basic lip balm which smells delicious. I ended up buying the peppermint one from Target a few months later. I love the Adorn nail polish formula and used the discount to buy 3 more polishes, and I never met a bad Palmetto Derma product. I think I passed the eye cream onto my sister because I don’t remember using it. The October box had the intimate wipes. The owner strikes me as having a working relationship with the brands so everything should be safe to use and unexpired. I think this box is better than the October or November boxes I received.

        I do think that there will be issues if the regular subscribers receive repeat items because there have already been bumps in the road with the sub. So the question are will the subscribers receive repeats and will the Gilt customers feel cheated if their boxes differ from others?

        • Subscriptionista
          February 22, 2015 at 5:29 am

          I think the Gilt customers will feel cheated because we get these to try out the box before buying it and go in thinking we are getting the actual experience hence why it is a deal. I won’t complain because now with this French a Box fiasco I KNOW what bad is lol

          I liked the box! I wouldn’t mind getting the month with the candle. I sent them an email just to clarify. I will for sure update if they get back to me.

          I really want to understand the dynamics of these boxes. The whole behind the scenes part of the business is so interesting to me. I’ve done some light internet searches but still find it a mystery. Though obviously having connections is the way to go, otherwise your sending whatever you get cheap.

          I’m slightly anxious on how my OuiPlease box will turn out. It’s likely I’ll get box envy!!! Oh what a beast of burden this addiction is! πŸ˜‰

  10. Samantha
    February 25, 2015 at 12:37 am

    This is hilarious!! I’ve been looking for a website with honest reviews that I actually want to read and this it it!! Keep up the good work and keep posting reviews!

    • Subscriptionista
      February 25, 2015 at 2:54 am

      Hey Samantha thanks a bunch! I will be posting more reviews for sure. Otherwise I’ll feel guilty for all the $ I spent lol. Again thank you for reading!!,

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