Wow! A HUGE flood of emails (like 2!!!!) came rolling into my inbox and I can tell that the buzz is really starting to stir for our new subscription box!
Many of you (BOTH of you) want to know cost, sign up details, and of course a spoiler…
The Hero Item is Cat Hair!!!
100% organically grown sustainably harvested cat hair from Sophia von Bearcat de Coronado and Bella Master of Our Hearts and Minds own line “Huffable!!!” This sumptuous fur comes from two luxurious kitties. You will be overjoyed that you will be able to tuck a clump into your finest evening clutch or a little into your hiking boot. This fur can go anywhere, all the while leaving a trail of chic!
You won’t have to pay for a meal at a restaurant with this hero item in your possession! No longer will you have to feel the embarrassment of lacking underarm hair either, for a pinch of this artisan cat hair will give you the look of being covered in lush rich cat fur yourself!
This delightful artist inspired cat hair from Huffable!!! is actually good for huffing, should you need that pick me up. Just don’t tell you friends or family or they will want some too…
Never, ever, before featured in ANY other subscription this truly is the best Hero Item you could ever even dream of getting in a box. Even if your dreams come from eating four handfuls of peyote, a bottle of wine, and 10 ambians! No parabens, No sulfates, 100% car fur. RV $100,000!!!
***I will wait for you to stop trembling with excitement at the very prospect of being able to sign up for this subscription box. When you can get yourself together enough to read more about how to sign up/FAQ’s then please read further.***
Cost: $20, a single clover from the Sacred Mountain of Goats, a pair of socks that you wore as a child to your first dance recital, and a VHS video of you doing a badass cartwheel. (price doubles when any of the writers are PMSing or Mercury is in retrograde)
How to Sign Up For The EXCLUSIVE Launch Box: Now that you are all excited and working on your baddass cartwheel you are likely wondering how you should sign up…
First since you want the box and are excited about it, I am going to allow you to sign up for the waitlist. This annoyance will simply add to the experience of anticipation! Savor it!
Waitlist: In order to get on the waitlist you must provide 5-7 references, a selfie in a foreign country, access to four social media accounts that we are allowed to post on for you, and a 500-600 word essay on your personal skills and why you would be a good fit for our box. To jump the waitlist, simply provide 15 references and send $1,333 via Paypal using the Bribe Payment section so we do not get charged a fee.
Billing date: Boxes are billed three months in advance. If you sign up in April, you will get the July box first! Unless we decide to take it easy because “we work so damn hard all the time” and “maybe we deserve to get some rest and drink ourselves into a stupor… like when we were young and before you, the kids, and responsibilities like this box you paid us to send you took over our lives.” Then? When we feel like it.
Shipping: Free over $165, otherwise $20, $50 shipping to Hawaii and Alaska, and $90 to Canada.
Wow! Amazing box! I thought you were joking about huffing cats, but science has studied it. Science! Important Studies! http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kitten_Huffing
You are SO right! (About the box and about huffing) 😉
Cheap at the price! Thank you for making so many cat hair dreams come true! How did you know???
You are welcome. Ya know, we got together and thought “What do women NEED and WANT, but still hasn’t been in a subscription box…” It just sorta went on from there!
…I think my head just exploded.
So you are signing up then?
Seems legit. I may need to print off the instructions though. Do you have a check list I could download?
We do have print out instructions that are in a geocash. You have to get the location and then dig for them. On the plus side the instructions are suitable for hanging.
lol!
Awesome do you take checks??
Yes, BUT your checks must have one of our faces on it and also be in Canadian French. If you send them you must use stamps that are “Happy and nor boring” otherwise we just don’t open it. We hate unhappy mail.
Take my money! Take my money! TAKE MYMONEY!!!!
See? This is the exact reaction we expected and will be expected! The RV alone is enough to put a down payment on a house. Think about it!!!
Right now I am drinking red wine (Love Noir Pinot Noir 2014) while my hubby is out of town, and laughing out loud! This blog is awesome!
Aww Thank you! It is people like you, the drinking wine people, that truly make this a fun place to be! I want wine now!!! (4:15 here…hmmmmmm)
It’s happy hour somewhere and you deserve to be happy 🙂
Tomorrow is a big wine fest so I will just go ahead and apologize for drunk posting now
Yes spread the word: Subscriptionista.com- where dreams come true!!!!!!!!!!!
Just like a certain Francophile box…You promise us goats but deliver cat hair, doesn’t matter I will embrace the feline fur and I will like it.
thats right. we make the rules and they change every five minutes!!!!!!!
Agreed. Sure we put pics up to make you believe that goats would be in the actual box… but like, I never outright SAID it…unless I did… in which case we had some issue with shipping or something
I mean sure we may have sort of lead you down that path but… like you have to take whatever we say with a grain of salt or a pinch of lavender… You will LOVE the cat fur… you will snicker when people try get a pinch for themselves… most ISO item in the world!
You are soooo right. I will love that cat hair and use it daily. Besides I can always swap for goats, I’m sure I have a clutch and a delicate piece of rose gold jewelry I could part with.
Well, there still COULD be goats in the box… maybe. So don’t part with your favorite items. Hahahaha Your comments reminds me on how some people act on MSA’s swap page! Like I am sorry but that Julep Nailpolish is not worth the cost! hahaha
Will there be variations in the color of cat hair??? Cuz I ONLY wear black cat hair, white just does not go with my skin tone. This is such a high value item, I would be so bummed if I get white. I guess there’s always swap, but it would be really nice if there could be some kind of customization!!! Plus, it’s my birthday MONTH so I’m really hoping for black 🙂 🙂 🙂
From reading on comments on MSA I 100% believe this is a valid and most ardent comment!!! Girl you got it spot on! *slips back into character* Well yeah we can’t like, promise you your variation of choice but we can promise that you will spend a large amount of time and energy (plus $$) on swap to unload the fur should it not be your color. Though we are partial to birthdays and have a ton of black fur…
Well now that it is out in the universe that you want black you will certainly get white/grey. The only person who will have black listed for swap will put on their listing that they expect a full RV swap for it and they want the neiman marcus chevron throw and a 1951 clutch included as “extras”……………
SHHHH we have to wait to be bitchy and honest until AFTER they buy it!!!!
i’ve never actually gotten into the swap game, myself. but as a casual observer, that certainly does seem to be the way things work!
that was indeed my source of inspiration : D
why am I the way that i am? why can’t I master the art of the reply? The above comment was meant to be in response to yours, Subista!
I got it!!! I have so many typos in my posts and replies due to wine and posting from bed. Be sure it is super hard to make mistakes here!!! Pretty much impossible! Like the one time my typo made it seem like I was talking about pooping on an airplane when I was actually talking about saving little puppies… Tragic but true
You were so spot on it gave me chills! It is like the most common type of comment “this won’t work for me cuz XYZ but ZYX”… I seriously feel like I could set my watch to that type of comment. My favs are the cat fights over what is a good item and what is not.
And the goats said unto us “Woe is the Hooman who doesn’t liketh an item for there will be another Hooman witheth a louder voice to proclaim the items worth! Thine will be embarrassed and tuckith thine tail!”
Truer words!
Ahh the goats and their infinite wisdom
Goats really do know how to work it!